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COVID-19 UPDATE: Goodwins is committed to delivering high-quality service while keeping our staff and clients safe. Currently, courts remain open and our team will continue to operate as normal, but all consultations and meetings will now be made via video call. Click here to view our full response to COVID-19.

FAQ: Should I communicate with my spouse during a divorce?

There will be many times during the divorce process that you will need to communicate with your spouse. It is a sensitive time, so you need to ensure you communicate with a level head. We recommend communicating with your spouse yourself and not through your lawyer if possible. This is because:

  1. It will cost you a lot of money to constantly get your lawyer to send messages to your spouse.
  2. Simple requests may be perceived as threatening if sent through your lawyer. 

When communicating with your spouse, you want to ensure your conversations are positive and cordial. 

  • Don’t communicate when you’re angry or upset.
  • Limit your social media and don’t post anything related to your divorce.
  • Keep a civil tone.


When should I communicate through my solicitor?

There may be times where speaking to your spouse is impossible. This may be because the hostility is too much to overcome, or it may be due to a court order. The latter is often imposed for cases of domestic violence or when either spouse has received a restraining order.

In these cases, you should communicate through your lawyer.


Do I need to keep a record of my communication with my spouse?

If communicating through writing, whether it be in texts, emails or letters, we recommend keeping messages that contain important information related to the divorce. This could include any of the following:

  • Debt repayments
  • Infidelity
  • Tax returns
  • Schedules
  • Offers to settle

Don’t be tempted to record verbal conversations without your partner’s knowledge or consent. There are laws that prohibit this and it could be detrimental to your case. Always consult with your lawyer before recording conversations.

If you would like to know more about divorce proceedings and best practice then please contact Goodwins Family Law Solicitors today and we’ll be more than happy to help you. We also offer a Skype service so that individuals can contact and hold discussions with us from anywhere in the world – you don’t have to worry about coming to our offices if it isn’t feasible.


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